Posts

Coping mechanism :)

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Do you know what the true tragedy of life is?  It’s that no matter where you go, you always leave a part of yourself behind. A piece of your heart remains in every place you once called home, with every person you smiled at a bit too long, and with every fleeting feeling that carved itself into your memory. You might go somewhere and develop a quiet crush on someone, the kind that blooms in silence and flourishes in glances. But then life pushes you forward. You leave them behind, like a gentle song fading from a train window. You might fall in love with a city, with its streets, its rhythm, and the smell of late evenings. Then you find yourself 2000 kilometers away, staring at a map like it’s a portal you can’t open anymore. Life has a funny, unkind way of taking things from us. People often say, “What’s meant for you will stay,” or “If it leaves, it wasn’t yours.” But isn’t that just a poetic excuse for something that is deeply painful and unfair? Because maybe it was meant for y...

summer memories

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As the days of summer approach, I am reminded of my past days a little more every day. The sun goes higher, and the gap in my heart deepens. I look at my life the same way I look at the clear afternoon summer sky, with squinted eyes, restricting the amount of light that goes in. As to why I do that, I don't really know. I think I'm falling into "the phase" once again, where nothing feels right, nothing feels wrong, nothing feels dull, nothing feels bright; nothing feels like home. I procrastinate and contemplate life on my bed with piles of unread yellow-paged books on one side and my worn-out pillows on the other. Even that doesn't feel familiar. I feel like I'm living in an ever-going marathon. In this marathon, each day blends into the next, leaving me feeling like a bystander in my own life, watching as it unfolds without my full participation. The weight of unfulfilled tasks and unanswered questions hangs heavy in the air, suffocating any sense of clarity...